Diary of a Transferring Mom Part 3: Things Rarely Turn Out the Way You Expect Them To

When I registered in the beginning of July I had a plan and a schedule that would meet everyone’s needs. I had worked out a schedule that would accommodate my husband’s work and school schedule as well as my kids school schedule. It was perfect. Well, perfect for that moment anyway. But as I have said before, life happens and usually at the most interesting times.

Since school has started every week has brought a new challenge with it — and not on campus either. My family has been dealing with challenges I never expected to experience. During week 1 my husband was told by a campus health professional that he had shingles. He was given medicine  and sent home. The following Tuesday he went to the emergency room gasping for air — he was then diagnosed with pneumonia. They sent him home with antibiotics and pain meds. On Sunday we returned to the ER because had been fighting a fever of 103 for 2 days. He was then admitted to the hospital at the point with a diagnosis of pneumonia. Since then he has been diagnosed with a condition called empyema, where the fluid in the membrane outside of the lung becomes infected. He has complex empyema, meaning hard pockets have formed and requires surgery. He was transferred to a new hospital at 12AM this morning.

I didn’t expect this, but then again when do we ever “expect” life to happen. Life doesn’t respect a schedule and wait until you are free. Because of this, you have to be prepared for the worst. While I don’t feel that my current situation is what one would call the worst it is on my list as the most difficult semester thus far. I started with 12 units, 9 of which were on campus. Today I have 12 units still, but now 9 of them are online. I also have my first W as a CSUF student. The Dianna from two years ago would be crushed, but the Dianna today is proud of that W. Why? Because it’s there to remind me that despite being an overachiever, I recognize that W as a reminder to how difficult this semester was and yet how I kept moving forward.

You have to keep moving forward. 

You have to make room for major life issues to arise, because they can and trust me, they will. 

So my advice is:

  1. Remember what is most important — as much as school is important, some times you will need to readjust your schedule so you can be there for your children, spouse, family, etc. This may include dropping one semester, or in my case it may include changing schedules during the third week. 
  2. Be proud of being an over-comer. Not everyone has the ability to get up after being knocked down week after week after week. If you can, be proud of yourself. 
  3. Don’t beat yourself up if you are struggling and accept help when it is offered. I have a hard time accepting help because I don’t ever want to be selfish. But in the last week I have learned to accept the help I truly need.
  4. Take time to breathe. I am certain I have said this in a previous post — the same advice stands.
  5. Communicate with your professors when issues like mine occur — they are human and most will work with you. 

I don’t know exactly how this semester will end, but I am keeping my eyes on the goal despite my circumstances. The health of my husband is number one right now, and thanks to understanding professors, I will push forward in school as well.

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